Monday, August 23, 2010

Confidential vs. Anonymous HIV testing; what is the difference, and what does your State allow?

HIV testing may be confidential or anonymous. With confidential testing, a person’s name is recorded with their test result. With anonymous testing, no name is used, and you are identified as a number.  All states offer confidential testing but not all offer anonymous testing. As of April 2008, 11 states offered only confidential testing.   Take a look below to see what your state offers and log onto to find a free testing location nearest you, or 

Alabama C
Alaska C, A
Arizona C, A
Arkansas C, A
California C, A
Colorado C, A
Connecticut C, A
Delaware C, A
District of Columbia C, A
Florida C, A
Georgia C, A
Hawaii C, A
Idaho C
Illinois C, A
Indiana C, A
Iowa C
Kansas C, A
Kentucky C, A
Louisiana C, A
Maine C, A
Maryland C, A
Massachusetts C, A
Michigan C, A
Minnesota C, A
Mississippi C
Missouri C, A
Montana C, A
Nebraska C, A
Nevada C
New Hampshire C, A
New Jersey C, A
New Mexico C, A
New York C, A
North Carolina C
North Dakota C
Ohio C, A
Oklahoma C, A
Oregon C, A
Pennsylvania C, A
Rhode Island C, A
South Carolina C
South Dakota C
Tennessee C
Texas C, A
Utah C, A
Vermont C, A
Virginia C, A
Washington C, A
West Virginia C, A
Wisconsin C, A
Wyoming C, A
American Samoa C, A
Guam C, A
Northern Mariana Islands C, A
Puerto Rico C, A
U.S. Virgin Islands C

A company that partner’s with Quest Diagnostic’s to provide 'at cost' STD Testing

Rather not go through your private insurance to undergo these kinds of private tests?  You do have another option. partner’s with quest diagnostic labs all across the country to provide at cost STD testing.  In reviewing their site you choose which package of STD tests you want done.  You simply type in your zip code to find a quest diagnostics lab nearest you.  They have several STD Testing packages to choose from.  Test results are usually back in 1-3 business days.

STD Package 1 test for: Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C, Herpes I, Herpes II, HIV, and Syphilis.  Cost: 245.00
STD Package 2 tests for:  HIV, Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, and Herpes II
Cost: 195.00

My recommended STD test’s for active gay/bisexual men

STD Package 3 tests for: HIV, Syphilis, Hepatitis B, and Hepatitis C
The cost is 195.00, and you just need to choose from the sites individual test options (see below). 
click on image to enlarge

This company has been in business for 15 years, and has been featured on NBC and in the Wall Street Journal.  And through their partnership with the American Social Health Association (ASHA), they have certified expert STD counselors on-call 24 hours a day to help you interpret results and discuss any concerns you may have. No appointment is necessary to speak with a counselor. Also included in your package is a free consult with a doctor, but if the DR prescribes any medicine there are additional charges. 

And they are accredited by the Better Business Bureau with an A- rating (see below).

This is just another option for testing I wanted to make you aware of. Still, my recommendation would be to go to and find a FREE testing location near you.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

6 months into my HIV and Hepatitis C diagnosis and now Unemployed…..

Wow!  What a whirlwind of events that have taken place over the past 6 months.  It all began back on March 3rd, 2010, when I found out I was HIV positive and the following month learned I had also contracted Hepatitis C (non IV user).  As you may have read in my report or previous blog entries for 7 years I led a life of secrecy. I was enveloped in the underground world of drugs and sex that is an unfortunate sub-culture within the LGBTQ community, and what I believe is contributing to a rise in HIV infections with regard to male to male sex.
On March 3rd, I knew I needed to get my life in check.  At the age of 32 – it was finally time to take control of my life and try and figure out what I wanted for myself.   I enrolled in an outpatient rehab program to address my addiction to crystal meth, but outpatient was not enough.   After a month and a half doing outpatient, and having relapsed a few times – I felt I needed more structure.  I received many recommendations from the CMA rooms of New York City about the Pride Institute in Minneapolis, MN.  I called on my own, and within a couple weeks I was there.  I spent 32 days inpatient in Eden Prairie, MN.
During my stay at the Pride Institute the lease where I was living with a roommate ran out, leaving me homeless.  Luckily I had been granted a leave of absence from my employer, American Express, so that my health insurance and pay continued.
For the first time in my life – I was homeless. Though, I was at the Pride Institute being fed, and had a place to sleep.  But, Homeless, at the age of 32 – there was not much pride in this.  Not only was I homeless, I had just learned I was both HIV and Hepatitis C positive, all while learning about an addiction to Crystal Meth – that is what my life had boiled down to.  My head was in a tailspin.  
What would you do? What steps would you take?  Like I said – it was time to get my life in check.  I left Pride with not a place to go to – to call my own.  I was discharged to my Father’s house in Upstate, NY.  It was a place for me to grasp everything that had been happening and continues too, it was a safe place for me.   I began my Hepatitis C treatment when I got here, and have been on it for 3 months now, and I have 3 months of treatment to go, and it will be CURED!
During my time at Pride I went through every emotion possible.  Though, in the end with the help of my peers, counselors, and other staff I emerged stronger, with more knowledge of my addiction, and with more understanding of my illnesses, and with focus and direction I wanted my life to go in.
On August 9th, 2010 my Doctor release me back to work, but my job was in NYC and I didn’t have a home their anymore.  After asking numerous times for employment opportunities within the company in Upstate, NY – in the end American Express did not have a job for me.   They may have had a virtual position, but my Dad was not about to let me work from his home.  This is a temporary move.

 My employer was nice enough to give me a 30 day unpaid leave of absence to find another job within the company, but American Express has no office locations for me in the Upstate, NY area.  Oh – and they just weren’t offering me a position. I was directed onto their website to find and apply for positions.
Was I supposed to wait these 30 days of unpaid leave KNOWING that American Express did not have an opportunity for me where I relocated to?  Or resign?  Both ways would have been processed the same – a voluntary quit.  And, come on American Express knows full well they do not have office locations in the area, and they were even privy to my medical condition.  I feel that a better solution could have been worked out, as they knew WELL in advance my current living and health situation.
So, now the unemployment process begins.  Will I get it, or not. I had to fill out a 4 page questionnaire, and send in tons of supporting documentation. Will American Express challenge my unemployment, and will my case go to a hearing?
For 6 months now my life has been a nervous wreck, with Amex’s 3rd party claims company breathing down my neck every 2 weeks for medical updates, worried about my living situation, worrying about starting the Hep C medicine, worried how the HIV meds and Hep C meds together would interact with me.   Adjusting to my living situation at my Dad’s and worried about my Mom’s health and her upcoming lung transplant evaluation and tests.
I am still not certain where my life is headed.  Hopefully I will have a grasp on everything soon.  Stay tuned and if you have a job for me, send me an e mail!

Letter to All Massachusetts Officials, Re: Online Buddies, Inc.

Dear Governor Deval Patrick,
CC: Massachusetts Department of Health, US State Senator Scott Brown, US State Senator John Kerry, Boston Mayor Thomas Menino, US District Attorney’s Office of Massachusetts

RE: Online Buddies, Inc.

I had faxed/mailed the Governor’s office and both US State Senators a 36 page report detailing a MSM (men who have sex with men) social networking culture and what I feel is a Public Health Crisis that is contributing to a rise in new HIV infections amongst the male to male category.
I am now writing specifically about Online Buddies, Inc., which is incorporated in your State.  They operate a pornographic social networking website called   This is the BIGGEST and most influential site when it comes to gay/bisexual male” hook-up sites”.  They are the largest producing revenue company amongst MSM social networking sites.  An underground culture of drugs and unsafe sex practices run rampant throughout the site.
What has me the most upset is that there marketing is misleading, and that they have recently begun an aggressive viral campaign teaming up with Facebook, Twitter, and MySpace.  They have also begun offering incentive to members for “liking” them on Facebook.  Through such viral marketing they are targeting the most vulnerable and at risk young adults.  The Better Business Bureau has Online Buddies, Inc. listed as a “dating site”.
I would ask you all to stand with me in denouncing this site and doing ALL you can to prevent another young vulnerable adult from logging into an online social networking culture of drugs and unsafe sex.
Your attention to this matter, and reply would be greatly appreciated.

Letter to all Arizona officials Re: Wet Media, Inc.

Dear Governor Jan Brewer,
CC: Arizona Department of Health Services, US State Senator John McCain, US State Senator John Kyl, Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon, US Department of Justice Arizona.

RE: Wet Media, Inc
I had faxed/mailed the Governor’s office and both US State Senators a 36 page report detailing a MSM (men who have sex with men) social networking culture and what I feel is a Public Health Crisis that is contributing to a rise in new HIV infections amongst the male to male category.
I am now writing with new information and with regard to a company incorporated in your State.  The company name is Wet Media, Inc.  They operate the pornographic social networking websites and  On this site, drugs and unsafe sex practices run rampant.
I would ask you all to stand with me in denouncing this site’s practices and doing ALL you can to prevent a young vulnerable adult from logging into an online social networking culture of drugs and unsafe sex.
Your attention to this matter, and reply would be greatly appreciated.

Friday, August 20, 2010

The Awakening - Very Inspirational and reflective of my situation right now. I hope that you find inspiration from it too.

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out. Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on.  and, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening!

You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon.  You come to terms with the fact that he is no Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy-tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not  everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are... and that's okay (they are entitled to their own opinions).  And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.  You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you.  So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to over look their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.  You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche.  And you begin to sift through all the garbage you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.  You learn to open up to new world and different points of view.  And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.  You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive.  And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a 'consumer' looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything; it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.  You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.  You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry.

Then you learn about love.  Romantic love and familial love.  How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away.  You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.  You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name.

You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be.  You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes.

You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms just to make you happy.

And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...and you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head agonizing over how you “stack up.”  You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK...and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be  treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less.  And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch...and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect.

And you learn that your body is your temple.  And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect.  You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise.  You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear.  So you take more time to rest.

And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul.  So you take more time to laugh and play.  You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.   You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's okay to risk asking for help.  You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself.  You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms.

And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.  You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people.  On these occasions you learn not to personalize things.  You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers.  It's just life happening.  And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state—the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.  You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.  You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire.  And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.  And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want as best as you can.

-George Laclawitz

A response to my report from Mayor Fenty of Washington DC

Dear Mr. Maloney:
Mayor Fenty thanks you for your letter of August 10, 2010 and concern about online social networking sites for gay and bisexual men.  The Mayor was heartened to hear courageous personal story and that your health is strong.  Your experience is a powerful inspiration.  Mayor Fenty directed the Department of Health HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis, STD and TB Administration to respond.
The Department of Health shares your concern about the impact of the HIV/AIDS epidemic on the community of gay and bisexual men.  In the District of Columbia, we estimate between 14% and 20% of all gay and bisexual men are living with HIV/AIDS.  However, the number may be higher.  From a recent study on gay and bisexual men, we found 40% were diagnosed HIV positive through study who were previously unaware of their diagnosis.  We are also seeing that even with the history of HIV/AIDS in the gay and bisexual community, there remain high risk factors as one-third did not know their partner’s HIV status and 40% did not use condoms at last sex.  The study had significant findings of discordant relationships between younger men with a lower rate of HIV and older men with a substantially higher rate of HIV.  In these age discordant relationships, there was even less condom use.  With the findings of this study, the Department of Health has established a new policy to recommend that all gay and bisexual men in the District get tested twice a year for HIV.  There will be a new advertising campaign to launch in the fall promoting this twice a year HIV testing recommendation.
The Department of Health invited experts and community stakeholders to work with us in the development of a strategic plan to address HIV and gay and bisexual men.  We expect to release the plan in the next month.  Many of the concerns you raised were also raised by our community work group.
The Internet as you mentioned has become a significant meeting place for men, especially to engage in sexual activity.  In our study “MSM in DC: A Life Long Commitment to Stay HIV Free”, we found that 35% of men in the study had used the Internet to find a sex partner.  We believe this number is likely higher as there were some limitations in the study methodology.  It is interesting to note that men who had partners through the Internet were more likely to use a condom (74%) than men overall (56%).
The Department of Health has an approach to work with these sexual social networking sites.  We have established a relationship with Manhunt and Adam4Adam in our efforts to reduce the transmission of syphilis among gay men.  Syphilis has grown significantly in the District and has nearly exclusively impacted gay men.  The Department is one of a handful of jurisdictions that has pioneered Internet Partner Notification on syphilis.  We required the cooperation of Manhunt and Adam4Adam to establish a profile to contact partners of newly diagnosed individuals who only had a Manhunt or Adam4Adam profile address.  The Department also works with several of our community partners who do outreach on these sites, particularly to young men who may be susceptible to encounters with older men.
This year, the Department will be launching a new campaign to promote condom use and we expect to place public service advertising on those sites with links for gay and bisexual men to obtain free condoms through our DC Condom Program.  We are also considering similar advertising on HIV testing. 
We concurred with your recommendation on making HIV testing in bathhouses.  We developed a public-private partnership with the Crew Club, DC’s bathhouse, Whitman Walker Clinic, and the Department of Health supported by Gilead Sciences to conduct HIV and syphilis testing at the club.  We started the project in July and it has been a success to date.  Many of the persons who got tested said that they would not have gotten tested, even a gay-friendly public health provider, and did so because we were available at the club.
This year, we will be starting a new project to promote condom use among gay and bisexual men social networks.  This is an exciting opportunity to bring condom education and HIV/STD information directly to men where they are. 
We recognize your concerns that vulnerable people could be drawn unsafely into the social network facilitated by Internet sites.  It is our aim at the DC Department of Health to do all we can to make information and direct interventions to reduce transmission.  We support innovative efforts such as our social networking program and community-based projects such as the DC Center’s HIV Working Group Toolkit program to distribute condoms in clubs, bars and restaurants.  DC provides free condoms and lube to the project.  We are making HIV and STDs visible in the District to send a clear message that the health of our residents is our top priority.
Please contact me with any questions and concerns you may have.  Thank you again for your commitment to helping the health of gay and bisexual men.
Partnerships, Capacity Building & Community Outreach Bureau Chief
HIV/AIDS, Hepatitis, STD & TB Administration
D.C. Department of Health
64 New York Ave., NE, Washington, DC 20002

Thursday, August 19, 2010 co-founder Lawrence Basil makes TWO campaign contributions to Congresswomen Tsongas of Massachusetts

You would think the owners of, or incorporated name (Online Buddies, Inc.) would have learned from the controversy that surrounded the then CEO (Jonathan Crutchley) when he had made the maximum campaign contribution to Senator John McCain’s Presidential bid back in March 2008.

As a result of this controversy Jonathan Crutchley stepped down as CEO, but as you see in their corporate filings from last year (below), he is still the majority ruler at the company.

In an article posted on here on co-founder Lawrence Basil was quoted then as saying “Boy, was I embarrassed when I found out he gave $2,300.”

I guess didn’t learn from that mistake. Why would a company with such a HUGE subscriber base, and with varying political views; dabble in politics. And shame on Congresswomen Tsongas for not doing the research to find out where here campaign contributions are coming from.

I do support and applaud Congresswomen Tsonga’s efforts in Congress revolving around gay marriage and repelling the “don’t ask don’t tell” policy.

But I would have to ask myself. If I were a Politician would I accept a donation from an owner of a Company that is pornographic in nature and contributing to a rise in HIV infections within the MSM community?

I will ask of her to return these funds back to the donor, and take a stance on irresponsible MSM social networking websites that are catalysts to unsafe sex practices, drugs, and other criminal behaviors.

This information below is public information found on
and online through Massachusetts Department Of Corporations

click on image to enlarge

owners of MH: click image to enlarge

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Go to College, and get the funding to do so! Your credit history does not matter! And…it’s never too late

Many people simply write off College, because they may not have the money to go, or they think that there credit is so damaged that they would never be able to get a loan to pay for schooling. 
YOUR DAMAGED CREDIT has no bearing on government funded college loans.  There is the William D. Ford Federal Direct Loan Program that MOST schools participate in and that you will most likely qualify for.   Choose a school, and look to see what programs are offered that might interest you.  Read the requirements, but don’t get TOO discouraged if you don’t meet all the requirements.  Many schools will still admit you, but on conditions.  A condition being you must take xyz course and pass it with a certain grade, before you are allowed to go further into the program.
Maybe you can’t afford the college applications fees?  Call the admissions department and ask if they offer “fee waivers”.  If they don’t, wait until next week when you have some extra cash, or borrow the 25.00 application fee from a family member or friend.
Other than government funded student loans you may also be eligible for scholarships and grants.  
Just go to – it’s free and easy to use.  1 in 3 people benefit from using  fast web!
Step 1: Find your school and program that you like
Step 2: Apply to your school of choice
Step 3:  Fill out the FAFSA – this will determine your financial aid eligibility.
Step 4: Wait for your acceptance letter (s)
Tip***after you have applied for your program of choice and filled out your FAFSA, you can call the financial aid department at your school, and they can give you an approximate total of aid that you are eligible for.  This aid can be used to cover school AND living expenses.
So, if you’re in that run in life, and not sure what to do.  Channel you’re your energy into learning something new.
Challenge your mind!  Knowledge is power!

Report indicates an increase in gay hook-up violence

This was an article from

Less than two weeks after three Maryland teenagers allegedly murdered a popular middle school teacher they met on a gay hook-up site, a new report indicates incidences of so-called anti-LGBT pick-up violence are on the rise.

The National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs released the report on April 29 based on data its 39 member organizations around the country. The New York City Anti-Violence Project, for example, reported more than 25 incidents in 2009. And these crimes included robberies, druggings, sexual violence and even murder after victims met their assailants on Adam4Adam, Craigslist and other hook-up and Web sites.

Read the full article

iPhone's Gay Social Networking App Leads to Murder of Phoenix Man, Police Claim

This would be the APP called GRINDR.   Read the full article by clicking here

An article from about MH! Wanna have a laugh? - Find Your Perfect Guy is an online personals site with profiles and photos where singles search, meet and match. Singles are able to communicate via email, live chat, and quick messaging. It is made up of a fun, high-quality group of smart, attractive, successful people from all walks of life, all professions and all ages, living life to its fullest. Users who are interested in joining this site will need to create a free profile, once the user create his profile he will be able to search members, for searching just enter the characteristics and desired location of the person you want and get ready to be wowed. The site is only designate for woman’s, to find their perfect guy.

MH offers users the possibility to take part in one of the world’s greatest online communities, which provides an enjoyable atmosphere for singles to meet. Whether you're simply looking to have a great time, seeking a serious relationship or are returning to the dating scene after some time away this is the perfect place for you! More over, visitors are able to meet singles in their country but also all around the world!  
Women will be able to find their perfect guy, really easy and quick. Last but not least, it is FREE - that is the laugh, oh and that it is strictly a dating site.

Finally, a positive response from MySpace Re: fan page

Hi Kevin,

I received your email about inappropriate content. Thank you for taking the time to report this to us. We have scheduled the inappropriate content for deletion however we will not be deleting the profile in its entirety. The remaining content does not violate the Terms of Use.

If you have any additional concerns, please do not hesitate to write me.

The MySpace Support Team

Your message Does News Corp know that My Space is allowing this page on My Space? This site is contributing to a rise in HIV infections. They are pornographic in nature AND they are NOT a dating service. What criteria must a business meet in order to create a fan page on My Space? They can be a pornographic website? That is allowed?

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Test yourself at home for HIV, and Hepatitis C

Home Access Health Corporation offers the only FDA approved in home testing kits. For a lot of people, privacy surrounding HIV testing is a big factor. If you’d rather test yourself in the privacy of your own home, you can, and it’s very simple. The kits come with a lancet to prick your finger with, then dab a drop of blood on a card and mail it back. I used these kits back in the day when I was too embarrassed to walk into a clinic, as I assumed everyone would think I was gay. I didn’t want ANYONE to even think of the possibility.   I didn’t even want my primary care doctor knowing, and there would be no way I would ask him to give me an HIV test.

Home Access offers a kit with a 7 day turnaround for 44.00, next day turnaround for 59.95, and they even offer a Hepatitis C test kit for 59.95. The testing kit comes in a non-descript plain brown box with no indications on it that it is an HIV test.You then send it back in a very non-descript box. You are assigned a number, and 7 days later you call with that number to speak to a Home Access counselor. They are available to offer nationwide medical and social service referrals to people requiring further assistance. Counselors can search from more than 19,000 organizations included in the Home Access Health referral database to identify the most appropriate resource to meet your specific needs.

There is a TON of support for you if you find out that you are positive. And if so, remember it is not a death sentence anymore, and also remember that research is finding that early detection is best. If you are wondering how you’re going to pay for your medicine, there is assistance out there for you to help cover the cost completely or offset the cost of the medication.

So, go get tested. You will drive yourself crazy not knowing. And, more than likely you will be just fine. If you do have a positive result, your life will go on, you will have plenty of support, and you will lead nearly a normal life. So, go to and type in your zip code to find a free testing location near you or order an in home test kit and find out from the privacy of your home. Below is an ad image for Home Access.

I am here for you if you need me.

click on image to enlarge

83,799 Fans of Manhunt and I’m not one of them!

Facebook: 71,000
Twitter: 11,699
MySpace 1,100

Manhunt revenue must really be starting to tank from previous years.  They recently added the” follow us on” Facebook and Twitter icons to the bottom of their tracking list pages.  Wouldn’t these ads be best placed on the “Health” link section?

They are stepping up their Facebook/Twitter/MySpace ad campaigns and going right after manhunt’s target age groups, and among these, the most vulnerable young adult.  Sure, sign up for a free account, but if you can’t afford the full price of a membership, just wait about a week or two after being a new member and they will offer you 50% off your membership.  The coupon ad will pop up when you log in and look something like this.  This is just one of their tricks to suck you in.

click to enlarge

It’s smart advertising on their behalf, but sad to see their advertising is going so viral and targeting the most at risk vulnerable young adults.  The age groups where new HIV infections is continually on the rise. 

I just hope that vulnerable young adult will not sign into an irresponsible social network of m4m sites.

Say no to and say yes to

A day in the life of an Advocate?

Well I was awake early today - around 7am and began writing letters.  It is now 3p and I am finishing up by addressing envelopes to Facebook, Twitter, My Space, and Craigslist.  It's hard to stop, knowing there is something else out there you can do that may make a difference. No matter how small or large of an impact.

You can take a look at the letters I sent today by clicking on to my website where I have them hosted. 

I keep reminding myself of the following quote:

If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.
- T. Alan Armstrong

I am just one voice and need your help; GLBT Advocate

 The life of an advocate? I guess?

I have been working for over a month now tirelessly with regards to advocating on behalf of the most at risk vulnerable young adult's.  I have been sending letters to elected officials, to companies, newspapers, and even created a blog to address many issues. I feel like all of my efforts are falling on deaf ears, or maybe I am just being very inpatient.

I have been advocating on important issues that I feel are directly contributing to a rise in new HIV infections in the MSM community.  Nine and a half minutes from now (when a new infection in the US occurs) is to long of a wait to finally do something about these irresponsible MSM social networking websites.

Like I said earlier, I feel like all of my efforts and this passion over the past month have fallen on deaf ears. I will not be discouraged.  As long as I have breath in me I will continue to surge on with my work.

I appreciate any of your comments, feedback, and suggestions. 

Another Letter to Facebook regarding

August 17, 2010

TO: CEO of Facebook
CC: Marketing/Advertising Team
I also sent you a letter last week and have been in contact with someone in user operations via e mail. I just came across another ad using your logo in advertisement on for members to win an incentive.  I was reading over your rights and responsibilities sections, and I believe they are in violation of said practices.  
I understand that Facebook is a HUGE network and that you may not always be able to look into the detailed practices of every business that wants to attract your member base.
Below is last week’s letter and included screen shots from within the site and the latest CDC statistics.
I am writing with regard to three fan pages on your site that are pornographic and nature and 2 fan pages which promote a site that allows illegal activities to take place.  The company names on your site are Manhunt also known as Online Buddies, Inc., and Adam4Adam.
These websites are pornographic in nature and catalysts to drug use and unsafe sex practices. These sites are contributing to a rise in HIV infections amongst the gay/bisexual community. Especially amongst the 15-39 year old as recent CDC statistics suggest, and who your target audience is.
I ask of you to remove these pages with regard to your pornographic policy, and also to protect that vulnerable young adult from making a foolish mistake, and signing into an irresponsible M4M social networking culture.  When it comes to social networking I give Facebook high regards – these underground M4M sites are undermining your integrity.
I appreciate your attention to this matter.
A concerned member of the LGBT community

I am enraged with myspace, facebook, and twitter

Oh- and if you haven't been able to tell from my blog yet. 

Just as its said alcohol or marijuana are "gateway" drugs to other drugs leading to substance abuse.. Well and other online MSM websites are a gateway to drugs, unsafe sexual practices,  HIV, Hepatitis, others STDs, and criminal behaviors.

The reason I am enraged with myspace, facebook and twitter is because these are the users that is going after.  Young vulnerable adults, that will become hooked onto this online MSM culture. being the biggest online MSM site, is the gateway site to other irresponsible MSM sites.

I am enraged that myspace, facebook, and twitter would even consider a business relationship with a site that is pornographic in nature and luring in young vulnerable adults - the same young vulnerable adults associated with the three sites mentioned above.

It sickens me.  Maybe facebook, twitter, and myspace are just not aware the type of site they choose to associate with?  Well, I am letting them know.  Last week I sent a letter to facebook's corporate headquarters, and today one is going out to myspace, and to twitter.  I don't think these companies will like it very much when I send my letter with these associated screen shots and CDC statistics.

Click images to enlarge

Currently 71,000 followers on facebook and 11,474 followers on twitter Facebooks Terms of Use

this my space fan page has about 1,100 followers  My spaceTerms of Service

Do you see the follow us on facebook and twitter logo's?Why not put these in the Health Link section instead?

Motivational Quotes for the day; Find your passion!

Struggling with drugs, alcohol, or just life in general?  Turn the negativity in your life into something positive. Make a difference in the World. Share your story. Talk to people. Help is out there for you with loving people to support you. You just have to be ready to accept that help, and really want it.

Change is not easy to embrace when we become stuck in our ways. Depression, loneliness, feelings of unworthiness begin to take control, and before long we are on that downward spiral that you will hopefully be able to recover from.  Many don't, but you can. 

Can you see?  Can you walk? Can you read? Can you laugh? Can you smile?
Can you hear? Can you feel? Can you love and be loved? Can you give and/or receive a hug?

Yes, you can, and even if you cannot do some of these. Go over to your window and stand in front of it for 5 minutes. Close your eyes and feel the warmth coming through the window. Now open them. Do you see the sun shining?  The trees swaying in the wind?  The people walking on the street? Can you still feel the warmth of the sun coming through the window? 

It's time to get out of your dark place, venture out onto the street, smile at someone, laugh a bit, feel the sun, hug someone. Hold the door open for that elderly Man/Women. Call a friend - if even you have not talked to them in years.  Do at least one thing positive in your day and you will not feel so hopeless.

You are an incredible individual with so much untapped potential, wisdom, and passion. End the cycle of loneliness you are in and tap into your potential.

I will leave you with a list of motivational quotes for the day.  

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” - Thomas Edison, inventor

If you have ever felt such tremendous enthusiasm and desire for something that you would gladly spend all your waking hours working on it, that you would happily do without pay, then you have found your passion.
-- Sharon Cook & Graciela Sholander

Passion that is so deep within that all we need to do is release the passion inside so that we become energized with a newness that all will want to share in. -- M. Lee

The more intensely we feel about an idea or a goal, the more assuredly the idea, buried deep in our subconscious, will direct us along the path to its fulfillment.-- Earl Nightingale

A strong passion for any object will ensure success, for the desire of the end will point out the means.
-- William Hazlitt

Chase down your passion like it's the last bus of the night. -- Glade Byron Addams

Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. -- Harold Whitman

Great dancers are not great because of their technique; they are great because of their passion.
-- Martha Graham

If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.
-- T. Alan Armstrong

We all need to look into the dark side of our nature - that's where the energy is, the passion. People are afraid of that because it holds pieces of us we're busy denying. -- Sue Grafton

Without passion you don't have energy; without energy you have nothing. -- Donald Trump

To have passion, to have a dream, to have a purpose in life. And there are three components to that purpose, one is to find out who you really are, to discover God, the second is to serve other human beings, because we are here to do that and the third is to express your unique talents and when you are expressing your unique talents you lose track of time. - Deepak Chopra

The kind of commitment I find among the best performers across virtually every field is a single-minded passion for what they do an unwavering desire for excellence in the way they think and the way they work. Genuine confidence is what launches you out of bed in the morning, and through your day with a spring in your step.
Jim Collins

Monday, August 16, 2010

Words and phrases to stay away from; Craigslist ad example

Words and phrases to stay away from in the realm of online M4M cruising. Any of the following words and phrases can be construed to mean drugs, and/or unsafe sexual behaviors. I would implore all m4m sites to filter these words and phrases out of members profiles. I am sending these words along with an example of an ad found on their M4M section to Craigslist Corporate Office to ask them to filter such words and delete any current profiles with such inferences.

prTy (capitalized T)
T (capitalized T)
party favs or just favs
pig play
smoke me up
GEN = Generous = usually someone looking to pay to have sex with you or pay you for drugs
Can Contrib or contribute - someone looking for drugs
seeking late nighT fun
Chem Friendly
To the Point - someone who does IV Meth
Point and Pig
Point and Play
long session
long sweaty session
get loaded
drop a quick load
taking loads
no limits
long extended session
charge me
give the gift
bug chaser
taking or giving loads
group sex
mild to wild

Craigslist M4M example, click on image to enlarge.

36 page report posted to the web on MSM online social networking websites

After nearly one month, 36 pages, 40 images, and 9,000 words - my report on MSM (men who have sex with men) online social networking has been published to the web. It includes my story, my letter to President Obama, my ideas and suggestions, as well as other information.

You can check it out by clicking here

Please send any feedback, comments, or suggestions to

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Is your man cheating on you with another man?

Below are the following links to look for in your computer’s URL history. The following sites are just a handful of the most popular MSM (men who have sex with men) social networking sites out there today. See my 4 tips on checking to see if your man is cheating on you and how to protect your computer from pornographic sites.

1) Websites to look for on the computer,,,,,,,,,

If he’s cheating on you on craigslist, below is an example of a link you may see on your computer’s URL history. Look for category=m4m at the end of the web address. See example below.

2) Check his mobile device
Be sure to check his mobile device/cell phone for any of the above referenced sites. Also, the two largest MSM websites have specific site setup for mobile devices. The two website addresses you may see are or

If he has an I Phone or a Blackberry look for the Grindr Application logo:

3) Check his credit card statement or telephone bill
Look for a charge from Online Buddies, or CC Bill. CC Bill is the largest e commerce solution for internet porn sites. If he is not cheating on you with another man, he may just be surfing porn on the web.

If a charge appears as CC bill you can look into what that charge is very easily by going to the below link. I have also included a screen shot to show you how easy it is to find out who this cc bill charge is from. You don’t actually need to be looking at a credit card statement. You just need an e-mail address and credit card number, and in seconds you can see the porn sites your man is exploring online. (See below)

Go to the following link, and below you will see the following. Just type in an e mail address and credit card number and click search. If a charge from CC Bill shows up on your telephone bill you can choose telephone billing from the drop down box instead of credit card.

Click on the image to enlarge

As you see above, you can also call or e mail CC Bill.

4) Prevent viewing of pornographic material on your computer
To prevent your child or your spouse from viewing these sites above, or any site pornographic in nature you can download any of the following programs to your computer. Click on any of the links to be taken right to the site.

Net Nanny
The cost of this program is for your computer is 39.99 and 29.99 for a mobile device. They also offer a free trial, and for 59.95 you can add the program on up to 3 computers.

Cyber Patrol
The cost of this program is 39.99 and protects 3 computers for that cost. They do not offer a mobile device blocking application at this point. They also offer a free trial.

Cyber Sitter
This is the oldest in online website protection. This program costs 39.95 for one computer. I don’t see a free trial available.

I have used this one. It’s free, and work’s well. I once wanted to block myself from these websites. I installed it and had a friend input a password and his e mail address so that I could not reset the password.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

It’s Saturday night; do you know where your friend is?

He's probably online, looking to “hook-up” or just aimlessly staring at an orange and/or blue screen hoping/waiting that someone messages them.

I know, it’s hot out, you don’t feel like going out to the bar tonight, or hanging with some friends at your house or theirs. Maybe you didn’t get paid this week, is it raining? Are you just feeling tired and lazy? Come on now, you’ve gotten ready, your dressed, you psyched yourself up and even confirmed with friends earlier that you would be going out. What happened?

You and I know what it is. It’s that blue and/or orange screen that probably sucked your friend into a night of aimless chatting between strangers. Maybe he will hook up, most likely he won't. More than likely your friend will fall asleep at his computer, with his clothes he put on to go out in, and have wasted countless hours searching for? You will have texted him numerous times, called him, and no answer.

Well, one thing is certain you'll be a bit disappointed and your friend will wake up and regret not having met up with you. Because- his night will have been very socially unfulfilling.

Do friends even exist anymore, or are we becoming a society of acquaintances?

If you’re out tonight, and wondering where your friend is; he’s probably included in one of the below numbers.

Online right now between and

RiseUpToHIV Daily News Digest