Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Carlton's Story living with HIV; A Kind soul, and with an empowering message tells his story for the first time
My life the last two years
I only ask one thing of you if you read this note, and that's you respect me. I've gotten too old to tolerate hate and disrespect, if you want to live with hate and disrespect that's fine, but you won't treat me in such a manor when I don't treat others with disrespect.
Personally I feel it necessary for me to explain the last two years to you all so that you may possibly be able to understand the why and then when of how my mind ticks? In April of 2009 (Also my birthday month) I was diagnosed with HIV, that same week because of the mental weight and stress of such a life altering diagnosis I went out to the bars with my friend thinking my life was over. Wanting one last hooray, one last night with the guys, to flirt and smile and bat my blue eyes and toss my curls, to feel human and wanted just one more time.
All of the house hold duties fell upon me, and the care of my parents fell on me, while I tried to maintain employment in Maryland and suffer in silence along with trying to find a ride, hitch hiking, bumming rides and rooms to stay in to make a go of my (then) steady employment, until….
Labor day weekend I snapped, I was driving illegally to procure my income and sanity, when my mother called me from home stating she was sick and in a very bad way. I left work early to come home and find my mother sick and covered in her own mess. I cleaned her up and called 911 for I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to lift her in and out of the car, the shower was difficult enough. Once the ambulance took her to the hospital I stayed behind to wash the sheets and so forth so that my step father would have a place to rest and sleep, and I then went up to the emergency room, where not one but two doctors told me without my fast actions my mother would be dead, as the tooth infection spread so fast and took her body septic within hours.
It wasn’t a choice to break the law or not it was a choice of my mother’s life is at risk, and sadly I would take that chance again, I’m sure any human with a hint of heart would do the same.
That Sunday night after leaving the hospital I went to a friend for dinner which put me on the road home rather later then I had wanted. At 1am in the morning two state police were waiting for me no more than 500 feet from my driveway, they pulled up behind me so fast I thought they were to hit me, and then pulled me over. I asked the 1st trooper why I was being pulled over and he was very rude and curt asking for my information a second time, as I handed him my information through my entire body’s shaking I told the officer that my license had been suspended and he replied with; “I know”. Entrapment? But again even if it is entrapment it takes money to prove innocence or guilt, and if you can’t pay your guilty.
After the officers left, I locked my car and ran down my drive way in fear, depression, anger, defeat and loss, closed my door behind me and tried to commit suicide for I just couldn’t take one more hard ship. Not to mention I was three weeks shy of getting my driving privileges restored.
You may contact Carlton at firstname.lastname@example.org, and please leave comments below.
Posted by Kevin Maloney at 6:27 PM